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Johnnie in "The Outing": A Sinner Amongst Saints ... And Other Relevant Personal Information

Disclaimer: Long post so beware

When we were discussing "The Outing" in class, we were able to cover almost everything in the story except the church service they held on the boat. I thought it was one of the most interesting scenes in the story, and I also felt that, in some ways, I could relate to how Johnnie felt and the way the service was depicted by the narrator.

This scene has the potential to be the most confusing scene in the story due to the amount of dialogue and the ambiguity of the narration when it appears. Some of the language reminds me of the jazz performance in "Sonny's Blues". For example, when Baldwin is describing the commotion of the service on the boat, he says, "And someone cried aloud, a timeless sound on wailing; fire splashed the open deck and filled the doors and bathed the sinners standing there; fire filled the great hall and splashed the faces of the saints and a wind, unearthly, moved above their heads. Their hands were arched above them, moving, and their eyes were raised to heaven." Every reader likely has an idea of what the "fire" is, but putting it into words is difficult - kind of like the lead musician "talking" to the other players in "Sonny's Blues". Much of this church scene is full of concepts that are tangible if you're familiar with the setting but at the same time, challenging to capture.

I think the hardest thing to describe in this scene is how Johnnie feels. In a service that is meant to cleanse sinners, Johnnie must have felt excruciatingly uncomfortable, since he's been engaging in what would've been seen as sinful behavior with David, and has a background with his mother that's supposedly masked in sin. He can't escape either; his father expects him to be there, the congregation is watching him, and David is there which is his only support. A few lines on page 50 accurately sum up how Johnnie feels, "Johnnie watched the spinning body and listened, in terror and anguish, to the bestial sobs. (...) Johnnie felt blow over him an icy wind, all his muscles tightened, as though they furiously resisted some imminent bloody act, as the body of Isaac must have revolted when he saw his father's knife, and, sick and nearly sobbing, he closed his eyes."

Throughout the scene, Baldwin describes the congregations' actions in a violent manner, and I think it's what contributes to Johnnie feeling terrified. The "icy wind" may be his fear, but I think it's him being overwhelmed by the situation he's been placed in. This is a feeling I can definitely relate to in own life. When I was much younger, I used to attend two churches that had similar services like the one depicted in "The Outing", and at that time I had not been saved (had not come to the Lord, as Gabriel might've said). Much like the church in this story, a clear distinction was made between those who were saved and those who weren't; during communion, those who were saved sat on the right side of the church and were allowed to participate, while those who were not saved sat on the left side and were not allowed to take communion. For many years I sat alone on the left side of the church, feeling a sense of shame that I'm sure Johnnie felt, even though I hadn't done anything wrong. At the end of every service (at both churches, and at most baptist churches), the pastor would stand in the front of the church with the deacons, and backed by a piano and drums (always), would invite all those who had not been saved to come to Jesus. The process was simply meant to welcome people into the church, however it often turned into a scene just like the one in "The Outing". As time went on, regardless of whether anyone walked down the aisle, the music would intensify, the pastor would get louder, and people would begin to sing and dance and holler. There was always at least one person, usually an older woman, who would begin to shake and dance and scream uncontrollably, evidently touched by the Holy Ghost. The ushers would give her about ten seconds of freedom before walking over and calming her to keep her from passing out. As a small child, I understood what was happening, but it was always jolting and a bit scary. The entire act (if you want to call it that) really was violent in a way. It made me tense, and I remember frantically looking around me as members of the church proceeded to praise louder, fling their hands up in the air, spin in circles, and walk up to the front of the church, obviously unable to resist the urge to join the community. There were plenty of times when I wanted to jump in the aisle and shake and twist and scream and run to the front and hug the pastor and tell him I was ready to come to Jesus, but I didn't for a long time. While I felt like every soul in that church was tugging on my collar and watching me from every direction, I also felt extremely scared, terrified, and I was paralyzed by that fear. Above everything, however, I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed by the captivating music, the wild dancing, the forceful voices, and the gravity of the entire situation. I definitely recall being moved to tears several times, not because the Shouting scared me, or because the music was so beautiful, or because I heard God's voice speaking in my ears - it was something more intense, convoluted, and private, which I can't really describe. Unfortunately, I'm not as artful with my words as Baldwin was, and I can't fully capture everything that you feel when you're in that environment. The best thing I can say is that as someone who's been through a similar experience, Baldwins description of the church service feels true (in O'Brien's sense of the word).

I'm sure that Johnnie was feeling many of the same things I felt when I was younger, likely even more intensely than I did. Even though I wasn't saved, I wasn't constantly labeled as a sinner, nor was I under the church's suspicion like Johnnie was. I think this scene has a lot jam-packed within it, making it one of my favorite scenes in the story (and the book as a whole), but also one of the most important for the reader trying to understand Johnnie and where he comes from.




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